There’s a scene in a movie released twenty or so years ago about girls who are really mean, where everyone’s inside the gymnasium for something equivalent to sharing or healing time, all to move past/through difficulty. In that scene, a girl is crying, (basically) saying she wishes everything could be sunshine, and daises, and sparkles. (Then there’s a declaration of, “She doesn’t even go here!”)

I can’t tell you how much I relate to that! But you’d likely never know. I’m not much on crying. If I do it, I’d rather not do it in front of a lot of people (or any people). I’m not much on ‘putting myself out there’. Certainly not into a massive congregation of people. And if I did, I would certainly never draw attention to myself. I would just be trying to get through it! But that’s life, in its ways, isn’t it? ;)

As much as I feel that way, I also strongly and firmly believe that moments of life beyond ‘sunshine, daisies, and sparkles’ are what strengthen us inside. (This could get into a massive thing of wishes, hopes, reality, assessments, and the variances between hope for positive being given and hope for sparking positive within yourself when negative is forced upon you. But this isn’t the place nor the time. And I feel I’ve been writing that for (more than) a decade now.)

Talking about myself is hard and unpleasant for me, especially when it’s in some way being told to stand up and introduce yourself to the class. (Sorry about all the school references. That, also, is life in its ways. I’m digressing. I do that a lot. . . .)

I’ve always felt: This isn’t about me. This is about the books.

But I understand. I wrote the books. Maybe you read one and thought, ‘Hey, I wonder what that person is like.’ Maybe you’re thinking of reading one and thought, ‘Hey, I wonder what that person is like.’ Maybe you somehow found your way here and are thinking, ‘What weird sort of ‘About’ thing is this?’ Regardless . . .

Thanks for showing any interest in me as a person!

This is me. If you read the books? I like to think you’ll find bits of me (my insides) there, in lines here and there. You’ll also see the complete opposite of me in others. But I like that you might never know which they are. (Though I hope some are obvious both ways!)

When I first made my blog a decade or so ago, in the time leading up to first releasing Reave, I made the ‘subtitle’ of it: Small fish, big ocean. I was—at the time—lost and overwhelmed but accepting. Sometimes, being a ‘small fish’ isn’t a bad thing. It can teach those little fins how to be strong and give you a good and healthy view on just how important small things are and can be. I’m grateful for the work and effort of getting through life as a small fish. I’m grateful for what I learned from it. I’m grateful for how much it ‘grew me’ on the inside.

If there’s one word to describe me at this point of life?

Grateful. Just grateful.

Likes (in no particular order): dogs, rain (but not storms), sunshine (but not hot weather), snow (but not cold weather), coffee, quiet, video games (Skyrim, ESO, Final Fantasy (VII)), decency, crocheting (though I can only really make one thing), working hard, laughing and being a bit (or a lot) silly, music, and finding joy in the little things.

This is me in a nutshell! <3