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Updated: 03/02/2026

I am ending one day and going into the next having a thought I've never once had before. There is another chapter in the KDP saga, which I believed to be over. (Still haven't updated the original post about it.)

I used to believe KDP treated people so well. I don't know what happened, or maybe it was just blinders or what, but it's like some beautiful thing revealed its monstrous inner being (experienced that enough in my life, thanks), and I am so disgusted and so horrified at the moment that I am legitimately thinking about cutting ties with Amazon altogether. I had NO IDEA they treated people like this. They're so helpful, when things are nice and easy. But I suppose that's the way things go, right?

Do you know what it's like to have a moment of looking at EVERYTHING you've worked for and thinking about dismantling it just to SAVE IT?

I'm not saying I'm going to. I'm simply saying that I'm not just thinking about it but considering it. I've barely made $100 altogether outside Amazon. It feels like it would be the end of everything. I just feel like... even if this new issue gets totally resolved? I don't know. I feel like I want to take my paperbacks down through them at the very least and republish them through IngramSpark. I would make less per sale, but I at least wouldn't have Amazon's hand at my throat or be scared every freaking day that they're going to pull the rug out from beneath me again.

It's just not right what they're doing. I don't know if anyone even reads these updates, but you don't know what fight I'm fighting here just to keep my books available right now. 

I don't have the money to do all new proofs and stuff for paperbacks right now anyway, even if I wanted to. 

I don't know what I'm going to do. I'm going to talk to Big Man about it and do my best to trust that everything will be okay.
It feels like an evil entity coming into your life set on destroying everything, and I'm having to tell myself that this happening right now has nothing to do with any thoughts I've had about not knowing if I wanted to do this anymore.

I am just so tired of fighting. In general. I'm just so tired.

I'm sorry to get so real. But this is my entire life's work, and I cannot STAND what's being done or feeling it's hanging by a thread that I don't even have a hand on. And just... being looked at like NOTHING.

People shouldn't be TREATED like this.

Unfortunate life lesson to be shared today: People are often all about helping you when it's as simple as following a set dialogue. But when you actually NEED HELP, true colors get shown.

And I DO NOT LIKE what I've seen from them. I at this juncture am unsure what to do. 

Don't usually post BEFORE talking to Big Man about stuff, but, well... here we are.

If you ever look one day and my paperbacks aren't available? This is why and they'd be in transition.

If you ever look one day and my books aren't available on Amazon AT ALL? It'll either be because they screwed me or because I decided I wasn't going to be treated like this anymore.

Please keep me in your thoughts and potentially your prayers, please. I don't ask that lightly. From the point of the initial stuff that happened near the end of January, even though 'hell week' was over, you can't imagine what my family and I have been dealing with here. It legitimately feels like life is under attack by an evil force, and I am just giving it all I've got to hold on at the moment.

WORD OF ADVICE TO ANY OTHER AUTHORS OUT THERE WHO MIGHT BE SEEING THIS: DO NOT TOUCH AMAZON ADS. They used to run fine. But their system must've changed, and it can and will turn your entire world upside down. If I had ANY advice for any other authors? Following the money to Amazon and putting all your eggs in their basket because you think it's the only way you can get by might be the biggest mistake you could ever make with your work.

To ANYONE reading this, I hope SO FREAKING MUCH that your year is starting off better than mine has. It's been a fu**ing NIGHTMARE. And you know I'm serious, because I DO NOT cuss in my updates.

It's been a nightmare.

Links/Former Updates:

Also, I did add some more pictures to Pig's Page, if anyone wants to go look!

If you missed any updates, don't worry! I made a page just for them. Updates Page

If you're going through a financial hardship and want to read my books, please reach out to me.

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