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Updated: 01/02/2026

HAPPY NEW YEAR, EVERYONE!

Words truly can't express how happy I am to start a new year. No matter how much better 2025 was in some (or a lot of) ways, compared to 2024, I'm honestly happy to be rid of it! Maybe I shouldn't put it that way, but it's true. There were some good things, some really nice changes, and there was a lot of movement in the right direction. Still... I'm glad it's a new year.

Publishing is weird. Maybe in some ways especially when you're doing things with your heart and spirit and trying to leave your head in some ways out of it. (Not out of it in accumulating or applying knowledge, but out of the decisions on what the 'right thing' to do is.) I in a sense am like a turtle. I when out of my element withdraw. I don't want to say 'retreat', because that word isn't really in my vocabulary. But I feel sometimes like I'm in this constant struggle to try to learn how to exist outside my natural element. (Which is quiet, without noise (especially 'world noise'), comfortable in certain situations and places.) I like to soak up the sun, but only when no one and nothing else is near.

For example... For some people, being bombarded with people trying to hire you for something would mean you've gotten big enough to get enough attention for that. Which is a good thing, right?

The bombardment of the marketing or 'marketing' crap caused me to COMPLETELY withdraw. I removed my contact page from here and equivalently tried to wait out a storm that I DON'T THINK is going to pass. It took me about a month to accept that it was happening. It has taken probably at least two more to put my contact page back up, because I finally have internally worked through things enough to be able to handle that.

This is much like the wide/Kindle Unlimited debate that has plagued me for TWO YEARS. 

I do what feels right. Sometimes, it's one thing. Sometimes, it's another thing. And sometimes, it's the thing one can logic themselves out of, only to have to work on getting their head to shut up during a heart decision.

I hate seeming... FLOPPY. I like to consider myself a set and stable entity, probably considered too much so by people who know me in real life (though I am precisely as I should be, as are we all (when not accounting for growth (wow, I am digressing here)). But sometimes things just take a minute to get figured out.

One could say: Kindle Unlimited is where the money is! You can't buy covers for books without monies. You also can't... FEED YOURSELF. Or go buy a marker if you want a new marker.
One could also say: I have dreams that take place outside that. (And I have a lot of other feelings on it.)

I guess it's a thing of listening to the world or listening to your heart, not giving in to fears and such. I'm proud of myself, for all the fears I HAVE conquered with this experience/decision to publish. It's far less the putting myself out there (that I think it is with most authors), and is far more what opening one's door or window allows into their life. The good is good. The bad is hard to handle, when you like peace and quiet and would rather go stare at a tree than scroll anything. This is hard for me. This is honestly so hard for me that it's caused basically two years of not writer's block but writer's refusal. I've had moments of writing. I've had a lot of moments of being far too busy to write. But I've been fighting a feeling for two years now of not knowing if I want to do this anymore, just to keep the noise down.

But I realized over the end of 2025 that I can't change my stripes and spotties, and I would never want to. Going and 'doing something else' wouldn't be a life choice. It would be killing not just a little part of me but one that I've nourished, worked hard at, shaped for nearly two decades now. It's not like cutting off a finger. It would be like killing part of my soul. I am an author, period.

I was told to do this for me, from this point on. I've spent so much time worrying about what harm or help my words could do. I have completed books I haven't released because I worry about this or that thing that isn't so nice or easy. (And if you've read my books, you know... they ain't nice and easy, usually. So imagine how hard the ones I consider not-nice are. Just think about it.) I have cried more tears, had my heart and soul CONSUMED with fear that I would hurt someone, to the point that it made me disregard what help I could offer. But even still... focusing on 'what help I can offer' has made me spend so much of my life completely disregarding myself. And that can't be right--to be a supporting character in your own life's story. And that's honestly how I feel. Even just...

Sometimes I want to write cozy romances. Maybe not cozy by anyone else's standard. I've realized that I can't write a 100% nice book. There's just... TOO MUCH PAIN in people's lives to do nothing but frolic. And I just can't. But sometimes, I want to write my version of cozy romances, with age gaps and healing from damage. But The Touch of Fear is a standalone romance, and not many people have read it, so it's a struggle of worrying you're wasting your time writing a book that kind of won't get read. But I've realized...

I'm already wasting my time. And writing anything but what I want, no matter how much good the story could do or how many people MIGHT read it... if it's not in my heart, it would be a waste.

Sometimes, I just want to write funny books. Regulators is funny. The Touch of Fear is also funny in its ways. Neither are comedies. Maybe people only want so much humor in serious books. I don't know. 

Sometimes, I just want to freaking LAUGH. Instead of rolling around in the depths of despair of every single character to try to let them fix themselves, or every villain. Sometimes, I don't even want there to BE a villain in a story. At least not a current one. Sometimes, the villains of a person's life are in the past, and you just have to learn how to freaking laugh again.

I don't usually write so much here.

This is me being honest about the publishing (and LIFE) struggles and the fact that I have spent two years fighting a feeling of never wanting to write again, just because I didn't want to burn my light out EVER again. Because I did. I burnt it completely out and have been fighting to get it back.

My resolution for 2026: 

I am going to write what I want to write, whether it ever sells one freaking copy or not. Because life is too short and FAR too precious to spend one moment chasing dollars. (Not even if it's 'chasing dollars' out of necessity and the fear of not having enough of them to support yourself.) I HAVE to believe that if you live a life good and well, if you follow your heart and soul, try to do what's right (maybe it looks weird to anyone else, but right FOR YOU)... things will be okay.

MY ULTIMATE RESOLUTION FOR 2026, my ultimate WISH: To BE HAPPY.

I don't know what your resolution(s) are this year, whether you've made one outright or it's a quiet hope/want in the back of your heart or mind. But I wish you success and strength for it/them, and for your year in general.

2026 is going to be amazing. I might still be in so much pain at times that I sometimes can't believe that, but I hope for it, and deep down, I know it's true. I hope your 2026 is going to be amazing, too.

I might not update things on here often for a little while. I really am going to try to write. I'm going to try REALLY hard. I have a fair few stories that have been trying to get out of me, the last year or so especially.
Don't be surprised if I disappear for a while then reappear with a new series or two at some point. I'm going to be trying to work on it/them now. (I have several I've been inching along on.)

Wishing you so much happiness this year.

<3

Links/Former Updates:

Also, I did add some more pictures to Pig's Page, if anyone wants to go look!

If you missed any updates, don't worry! I made a page just for them. Updates Page

If you're going through a financial hardship and want to read my books, please reach out to me.

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